Why do dumpers act so cold reddit. Or maybe they only know to hurt to get their way.

• Why do dumpers act so cold reddit Some are trying to make you feel less human than them. Yes they start off with feelings of relief, they hold the power and control, thinking of the negatives and bad times. It’s over, you’ve maintained NC, and that’s it. Mine one deleted all the post of us, even the post where i commented . Specifically, I’d like to focus on why they demonize you and make you out to be the bad guy when they themselves were the one to break up with you. Exactly like we all do things out of emotions, I just wanted some answers and closure as it ended so harshly which is why i reached out but now im just using gods strength really to find the answers within. in a few months they’ll probably realize it was a mistake and want to make contact, get closure. They appear completely detached and uninterested in how their ex feels and what he or she wants. So, because the dumper derives their false sense of power and self-confidence solely from this reassurance, they start panicking and getting really anxious or deeply insecure as soon as the dumpee stops all the chasing, can’t be controlled or We become so concerned with why & how they can act so cold to us after the break up. Doesnt mean its in a vindictive way or malicious way. They’re long gone therefore you are “forced” to dump. Soon after the breakup she started being cold and distance, because that's what dumpers do. They might feel guilty and feel bad about the breakup. This is bcause it is terribly important to not let the core temperature fall too low. It was all an act. Just dump them. She found someone else she likes Realized she doesn't like you She may be busy/experiencing something in her life and needs her space. So the way your dumper may act, may not make sense, it may seem out Dumpers - how do you cope when you didn’t actually want to leave but felt you had to? SOS You want so badly to be his support system and help him but you have to remember his addiction will always come first. My ex came over we had a nice afternoon cuddled she left that night we video chatted till she fell asleep then next day I tried telling her about my feelings I still have for her and it hurt me her dumping me. A week after she was hanging out with her associate (she’s his managershe’d lose her job if she’s caught), and I was pumping gas the other day, and they come walking out of the 7/11 holding I was the dumper and broke up/started NC around 4 weeks ago and the idea of dating anyone at the moment is so mentally taxing and physically repulsive that my body shudders at the idea that I might even attempt it. I literally mentioned this in there that I felt this and so we didn’t get back together which I now regret. This means she accepts the breakup as being best for both of us and she wants me Exactly! Exactly. i was dumped after almost 3 years and i never broke nc. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. It’s actually just another selfish act on the dumpers part. they do miss you, it does hurt them, but if they know they cant love you the way you need, or theyre doing whats best for them, theyll keep moving forward. Dumpers become unrecognizable because they become empowered by the breakup. Your ex has run out of them and can’t invest any more time and energy in a relationship that doesn’t feel good A forced dumper is essentially a dumpee. My last interaction with him was hard. Sometimes being the dumper is a necessary act of self-protection. I don't understand why this is a common enough phenomenon that lots of people say this is what dumpers do. I think some dumpers are hoping to inflict hurt so that the dumpee will leave them alone. Look, I know its hard to accept but being a dumper is just as hard *So do people who weren’t raised better. My ex said she loved me so much and wants me in her life. In the end there are two people who had an emotional connection severed. Who knows if they do get clean, they could come and want to apologize and Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 2 votes and 1 comment I am so sorry to hear that. Here is what you do if you are serious about this I believe that people (lol my ex) who can become super cold and insensitive after breaking up lost their care even before the breakup. I hated when we’d have timed essays but my hand would be cold so I’d end up writing really slow. He saw that something was wrong before I did and he did nothing. Wouldn't be an exaggeration to say they cheated tbh, so forget about them, put them where they belong (not in the highest place inside your mind obviously) and start putting yourself on top, focus on yourself, workout, Yeah people just don't like being called out and having to feel guilty. Especially if it’s a blindsided breakup, where the dumpee didn’t do anything wrong but the dumper just woke up one day and decided to break up It is their way of disconnecting. Initially the dumpee can’t sleep, eat or think properly because they start the grieving process right away. Why do dumpers— why do avoidants do this? I gave her a choice, I told her; I was in this, they were the love of my life, I wasn’t leaving. It’s been 2 and a half years since we’ve been broken up and even till this day she’s still cold. For some time it gave me hope. Your dumper is so cold and heartless because they wish to get rid of you. It was my first real relationship, and we seemed to have this unbreakable connection. They do that to avoid feeling shitty about themselves. But it's what people have Why do dunpers want to hang out but then act cold again. No matter how it gets answered, it's gonna hurt, and it won't be the whole truth. why do dumpers act like assholes after the breakup? Asking from personal experiences and from what I've seen from other people so for example if the relationship was good but the dumper is an avoidant and dumps you all of a sudden and when you reach out to reason with them, they act like assholes and say things like "lol don't care" or "You don I couldn’t believe that this was the same person I dated. We didn't follow each other as I deleted my old account and got a new one. Good relationships, of any kind, are reciprocal ones. Keep maintaining it. They respond shortly and slowly and show no interest in their ex's health and well-being. Ever. People can be so cowardly, cold, and cruel, but you dont expect it to happen from certain people. But I don’t understand why now, is it because he doesn’t care anymore or the curiosity got the best of him. Get the latest creative CONTENT from DateDashers about Dating & Realationships. I think this may happen with some as a result of the dumper mentally checking out of the relationship before its over, so moving on isn't a big deal. Trust me. it took a while, but after showing that i i wasn’t going to contact her, she reached out, but it don’t matter if they do anyway, what’s going to come from it? you probably aren I tend to think they dont turn cold, they just finnaly grew the balls to do something they had been fighting themselves to do, so it all comes out so harshly. You make decisions based on how you feel at the time. There are not the strict roles of dumper and dumpee and what they are allowed to act like. I know i will miss her when she leaves but I have to keep reminding myself the many reasons why I had to end. It is likely they will at some point reach out in some form, but it’s more likely to be because they feel guilty or regretful and want to make themselves feel Seems like dumpers always leave a relationship and never look back. So yeah, dumper generally don’t “rebound”, the fuckers have been talking to the person previously. Also late to party. Cold Turkey is the quickest way by miles to stop feeling like this. Last ex went completely off the rails. Next day she’s fucked her coworker. The really lean kids started to shiver far sooner than the boys that had more meat/fat on their I ended up dumping him despite loving him but he acted so cold towards me and I didn’t understand why. 99 % of cases it never works. Not all dumpers have history of depression. Glad you're not 😂. THIS. I broke his heart. ” Doing so also tends to be relaxing and might explain the tendency to snooze. He just gave up thats why I broke up with him. And if this is why he is being so cold and indifferent, I need to know so I can never look back. In the more southern areas, this is less important, because it doesn't usually get that cold -- but it can get cold enough to for frostbite, which higher circulation can protect To offer you a "bread crumb" platonic type relationship, so he can relieve his guilt about hurting you and so he can say to himself and others, "We're still friends, so it's all good. Hence why it’s wise to move on after someone dumps you, even if you stay friends, because it’s more so for the dumpee to go be happy and live their life & not put everything on hold for the dumper. He also later restricted me (before i sent him anything). Even if they reach out under the guise of being ‘friends’, it’s disrespectful and unfair to you, because you stated you needed space. I'm blocked, and to be honest asked us to both do Nobody here knows why she did that. She said I didn’t need to do that as she really enjoyed our relationship. I dont know why that is actually. But really it is them finally not faking anything, and once they pulled the trigger, they cant let go of the gun. We all want what we feel we cant have. I just don't understand when people feel sorry for the dumper almost 99% of the time, it's mad to me, especially when you're blindsided or you're the one who has tried their best but our best is never good enough for some people. I thought you were my ex when i read this and your previous posts. Why is it that someone can leave just like that from someone they claim to love in such a non empathetic way? To not even have the guts to do it in person and ignoring / avoiding the conflict acting like you were not once their person is crazy to me. You were the best they just didn’t realize it at the time. You're in good company. Putting on an act as though he's okay, when I'm sure deep down he isn't. This was because of a huge fight I had with her mother, and finally she dumped me. Well I'm also a dumpee but i do read a LOT about dumper (i think we all do). But I mean in cases where the actions are self imposed amd Exchanged "i love you's" in the same week as she dumped me and turned into a He really did a 180. We were only seeing each other for 4 months. Like they're always happy and content with their decision. It wasn’t too difficult to break it off because there was already a growing resentment towards So I did. i was wrong, and i ended up hurt again Today we’re going to talk about why dumpers act so cold after a breakup. It’s essentially them waiting for you to dump them so they don’t have to be the ones doing the shitty work. A dumper has something they wanted. Her first words to me were that she hoped I wouldn’t leave, whether out of frustration, burnout, or acceptance and I’m set. But not good for the self in relation to the world. That’s why so many dumpers end up coming back after some time. e: male, 23 e2: I am acting cold because I am nervous. She somehow found it and watched my stories. i love him and left so we could progress with our lives, not to do harm to his. My ex of 9 years was shame-based our whole relationship. Specifically, I'd like to focus on why they demonize you and make you out to be the bad guy Why do dumpers act so cold after the breakup? Dumpers act so cold and distant because it feels right. I've lived it, my gf and I are back together after 6 months of NC, but when we broke up, she was cold and distant. Or check it out in the app stores There are over 200 viruses responsible for giving you a cold, so there is a lot of variability between these that your body will deal with over different time lengths, the usual length is 7-10 days if you get a cold but it can be less or up to Sometimes people do wake up when you are finally moving on and actually have to fight to not loose you to realize they are making a mistake. It doesn't matter how many times the dumper explains, dumpee will just have more questions. No matter how many times the dumper explains they don't want to be with the dumpee, the convo will just keep going in circles because ultimately dumpee can't accept the relationship is ending. It's my way of doing my best to detach and move on. If you can tell they’re being cold then you must still be in contact, right? Cut it all off, that’s being completely NC. I knew my ex wasn't working that day. I’m heartbroken and so I should have helped more, do more but there is so much you can do when he acts cold towards you and blames it all on you. And it sucks. I was also a student so we remained living together for logistical purposes (lol) because it would be difficult to move out during the semester. The dumper is just often gonna act cold in order to not have to deal with what they have done. just because they didn't show it doesn't mean they're not hurting like we do. Today we’re going to talk about why dumpers act so cold after a breakup. It doesn’t make sense to me that they could go from completely warm to cold in less than a few weeks unless they . She acts the same way. It was all my fault and he tried so hard. It’s statistically very unlikely. It's not a likeable personality all around. But it will also impact how I think of him and our relationship if, like you said, maybe he's coping differently inside than he's showing. In the north, where it gets really cold, lots of people have "bad" circulation. They don’t want to deal with the hurt and heart ache they caused you, so they’re cruel instead. In all, I think the best place to start is by looking at the following topics, So I was more vigilant to catching them the first time they did it and letting them know that's what you're not supposed to be doing. The statistics of dumpers reaching out to their exes are very good though in general, it happens more than most people think it does. I always got rejected so acting on those feelings always lead to disappointment because those feelings weren't reciprocated. The one thing all dumpers have in common is, they don't want you. Internet Culture (Viral) Amazing Why do Americans like the drinks so cold, all the time? Archived post. Or, me, anyways. The other person is also ready so checked out they’ve already broken up with you with their actions. in op’s situation the dumpee had emotionally checked out way before keeping op blindsided. They get cold and angry to gain distance. There’s no way to know the future ever. Yes. Some may want you to go ballistic so they can play the victim. All that matters is, they don’t want or treat you well enough, so it’s not enough for you. The reassurance that their dumpee is all miserable, hurt, broken and depressed without the dumper. It’s not like I instantly hate them so why act like that when breaking up? a lot of them do reach out, but you gotta make sure that you never reach out. Now when I talk to other girls in a friendly manner, she acts all angry. It is important that you understand your ex if you want them back. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I agree they should be empathetic but at the same time when you end a relationship you’re on your own, you can’t help each other anymore, it’s over and part of that is cutting contact. Be sure about your actions. Like great, I have a crush on someone who will say no. After my second relationship (where I am a big reason why it ended and why she was hurt), I have always tried my best to be the best partner. I feel so much better regarding the stress but I still feel horrible about the pain I brought to someone to place my needs first. Trust me his act that "everything's fine" is an act or at least short lived. Just imagine having to dump the person you love because they don‘t respect your boundaries. but at that point it will feel Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. I just don’t even hardly look at girls if they are pretty because I get so nervous. I wish he would finally see that. Also, when people are in crisis mode (like breakups) they act out in ways since it’s so emotionally heightened. There can be multiple reasons why she's been cold. Dumpers will always want you to want THEM, even if they left you and ‘moved on’. Why do some dumpers care how the dumpee acts after the relationship? So it's unlikely she wanted to work out, and becoming cold is part of the progress of healing from the breakup and moving on. Best. Ongoing support for break ups. And once I was able to put myself in my ex’s position, it was clear that her main objective was to forget me and move on and the only way to achieve that goal is to act cold around me. and you can become better at whatever you are doing so why the hell not try to. But yes to the fck you to the its not me Go look through my recent comment on a post where OP asked if the dumpers miss their ex. Or check it out in the app stores Why can a dumper be so cold after the break up? Have I done something wrong? Share Sort by: Best. Like, restraining orders off the rails. She acts like she hates me and I always ask why. The biggest act of love is to love from afar. Those do play a role in the break up process, so maybe that’s why it’s a little easier for me this time around. This is a subreddit for people who've been through a breakup. Energy vampires! It takes them way way way too long to realise you are gone or going because they are in the select few of dumpers that engage in mind games in defence of themselves, most dumpers really don't care and their actions have probably been so transparent our ignorance is to blame for not seeing the problems, they don't tend to play mind games, the Why is British culture so cold and unloving? Archived post. But it doesn’t matter anyway. i try not to overthink or even think of her. Why wouldn't you accept her explanation? Why assume she's lying? I told her i understood and I wouldn’t talk to her anymore. she broke it so many times. my ex boyfriend was angry and cold and distant before the breakup and when he did dump me over text I asked him for explanation and he refused to have that conversation and was passive aggressive , so I accepted it wished him the best and blocked him everywhere for my own peace, he then was angry and I heard that he talked to one of our mutual Why do dumpers act so cold? Dumpers often act cold and heartless after the breakup. New comments cannot be Spring took forever for the same reason, the lake kept things cool, so while the sun could melt the snow and stuff, you'd still want a coat on well into summer because the breeze just carried the cold air off the lake to chill ya down anyways. again. Posted by u/maple33 - 4 votes and 1 comment If you want the story of a dumper (aka me), it is because sometimes even though we are the ones who officially left the relationship, it feels like our ex has emotionally left the relationship before. I couldn't believe i loved this person & she was now being mean & spiteful & acting like I didn't exist. My advice is to NEVER get friendzoned. 1. Every steps they are taking is necessary . Make sure you ground yourself daily (lots of stuff about this on YT). I really think she lost her marbles. Alcohol also makes him very explosive and he would just get into rages and break things and start a huge fight when i would have work at 7 am for absolutely no reason. 301K subscribers in the BreakUps community. But what do dumpers feel. I have to be distant so I can protect my own heart from getting hurt again. They've processed, grieved, and come to terms with the relationship ending while having us there as a crutch to do so, so while our need for further communication is completely valid, as usually we feel blindsided, to them its frustrating, as they've worked all of this out already, and get angry having to go over questions that seem obvious to Why do dumpers act like theyre angry . Kept stringing me along for months. Thank you for this and helps to have people understand and I'm going to say this and I'm not swearing at you. Do they really not care. It’s really a mixed bag of memories for me. It’s an avoidant’s/dumpers cycle you can find on Google. Why I came back (only once). You don't truly know how they feel, breaking up is hard even as the dumper, and so they will push you away to make it easier. The way she dumped me hurt more than the It seems as if once the dumper has made up their mind about how they feel about you and the relationship its like they just become some cold asshole and treat you like you never mattered It's crazy how it all works, but it's so true. She constantly thought I was cheating and wanted me to constantly text her to the point where I couldn't even have a conversation with anybody if we weren't together. If she wanted to be with you, she would directly tell you. It’s because they start to realize with time that you gave them something no one else can. it. Don’t headfuck them Coming from a dumper trust me its not always like that. The sad thing is she could've said no when I proposed but I don't blame her there was so much pressure from all sides during a proposal. it's not an easy adjustment to just cut something or someone out of your life. Someone who pursues you at a relentless and inappropriate pace is either setting you up to abuse you, is only interested in the chase, or has poor regulation over their emotions and will inevitably swing back the other way. Why do dumpers act so cold when they dump you? It's only been a week since me and my ex broke up, and I've been crying almost everday. How she needs to be alone and work on herself. I think as long as you’re honest, no one can be hurt because they can choose to be involved with you. he is just not a good person and he is so so bad. So if you dig deeper ( not saying you should do this) there will be some connection there somewhere- social media, work, friend of friends etc. All bubbly to other people and acts cold towards me. I because they convince themselves that any further discussion or explanation won’t help. Honestly, I see it as they don't want to lose you completely. Hm. the last thing i want is Yep. Alot of INTJs have to get over themselves. You are only allowed to dump an abuser or criminal Its a way for them to assuage the guilt for the pain that they know they have created in you. I guess as time goes on it flips for some people. Dumpers start doing it before the dump and then cope with the loss in ways that are not healthy, but they just refuse My girlfriend of 15 months just dumped last week. I really am. Have some self respect and move the fuck on. Those “coaches” are mostly grifters giving advice to vulnerable people. Open comment sort options. For me my breakup wasn't planned, and it's definitely hit me hard. She threatened me with the cops and they looked so cold and told them "why do me this way" where my ex laughed nervously to her mom because of how desperate I looked. I was the one who left him but he was already so emotionally detached from me for a while so it felt like he was the one who left me. The other 3 ex gfs did cycle back at some point. And that’s the last and final step So if you’re wondering why dumpers act so cold after breaking up with you, it’s because they expected to be left alone and live life on their terms. also so that he cannot interrupt his own healing process and look at mine. I remain cold and distant, acting like he's a stranger, because I don't get an escape from him. Whether or not they want to keep you as a backup plan, that varies on person to person. It’s hard. . When she talks to me now it’s like she wants nothing to do with me, like everything we’ve been through never happened. Like, if you're really so emotionally immature that you'd ever even think this is a morally appropriate thing to do, you should never enter into a relationship with anyone. I was so focused on it. I wish it didn’t end the way it did. this is why people The reality is, you’re never going to know why; this person probably doesn’t know why. Sorry happened to you too. When they fell out of love, they will need to find anything and make them into a reason, and they also need to be cold and stern. You dumping them is their goal. So dumpers, do you even care do you even think back? Or are you so convinced it was right that you don't care? I made some mistakes too, I begged and I am trying to forgive myself for this. All they want is to be left alone and talk to people who add value to their lives. It solves nothing. I would tell her something terrible that happened to me & I would get no response. Why do dumpers seem to have an amazing life after leaving the dumpee? Had more then one ex like this so yeah they do care more then we think ;-) One of the biggest parts of an apology is the recognition that the act you’re apologizing for isn’t going to happen again, not at least without some improvement, self awareness We had met up a week ago (been NC since) just to talk and when I asked why she moved on so quick she said it was to get over, then she realized she likes the single life and meeting new people. She calls her mom. The reason a dumper appears unrecognizable to the dumpee and why the dumper feels Because a dumper gets a closure/sense of control. He acted in such a cold manner and said some hurtful things that I'm trying hard not to internalise. 12M subscribers in the relationship_advice community. It's a process of getting used to being alone, or at least not having that particular person in your life. they convince themselves that it’s already so hard to break contact, they only have the emotional stability to do it once. He wasn't even emotionally detached - he was bitter, and angry. If you’re so sure about dumping someone. No communication, nothing But why does she act so Today we're going to talk about why dumpers act so cold after a breakup. Stage 3 – Obsessive preoccupation: At the time when the dumpee is either in the phase of self-improvement or recovery, the dumper will become obsessively this sub is for advice about specific dating situations not general debates. Or maybe they only know to hurt to get their way. A dumpee doesnt. that some classes act more cold and reserved? IDK personally. I turned my IG account private. I also knows he sees himself as the victim and it's embarrassing. So I went. So you may not blame yourself for that but I wouldn’t boost anyone’s ego because my ex plays a huge role in why I was so scared to talk to him. Like talk to me then instead of ignoring me. Sometimes they overplay how happy they are, but eventually they will feel lonely again. Or check it out in the app stores Why do some people feel so cold easily, while some people are the opposite that they feel hot easily? Part of canoe training was dumping practice. Since, in the majority of cases, this sort of breakup seems to be the result of the dumper meeting another person, limerence is the primary driver of their actions. So I don't reach out because I know he's a coward. I threw away the last 4 years. I offered him another chance if he tried and he just told me to move on. The dumper is in the relief stage. Not saying it’s impossible, but unlikely on the balance of probability. Blah blah. My ex and I broke up a week ago and she said the same thing. Sounds like they’re testing the waters to see if you’ll go running back, which is why you’re doing the right thing. But they got to walk away. My ex (dumper) did that as well. They hoped that the breakup would allow them to stop thinking about your problems, wants, and I don't really understand why this happens, because I like usually the person too, and would like to be together with them. Which is why I'm not surprised so many INTJs like ISFPs they do, i spoke to my ex after he dumped me. You may still have feelings for them, but that doesn’t ensure 42K subscribers in the BreakUp community. Questions like this can drive you loo-loo. Just like research has shown women recover quicker from breakups than men do. Okay none of us do but we'll take it when we deserve it because we want to know how the other person feels and why so that we can make the sadness or anger we caused them go away, but that's because we're decent people who made them feel that way by accident, whereas there are others who are not so I learned a lot, after the break up I didn’t chase and resorted back into my solitude. When that happens, I find very hard to get warm again, except for via hot shower or space heater, as even piling on layers it feels like I'm still cold inside. you can't tell me what's best for me, especially when any issues you had with me was not communicated clearly and no effort Why are offices kept so cold all the time? Work It just seems a lot cheaper and makes more sense for office buildings to just keep the building at a comfortable temperature than for an office building with 70+ workers to have heaters on max at their desks all day, even in summer. Some kids fool around and open the valves of gas lighters all the way (don't try, because its dangerous), the result is also a noticeable cooling of the lighter (+ a lot of flammable gas. and no, they don’t always come back, I’ve been the dumper many times Why do they come back? For many different reasons: to test the waters, a sudden burst and need of affection, or simply by curiosity: bread-crumbing or to friend-zone you In any cases, you’re strong and doing great. It takes Dumpees usually just go through the loss stages early on. Because it's easier for them to put up a hostile front, in order to justify their decision. We both agreed to be on friendly terms but she just acts plain cold. If you dumped someone in a kind and caring way, then you may have the ability to offer them something as the relationships transform into a friendship. Now I understand why though he could so easily disrespect me in relationship. Talk to us! Coach Lee explains why the dumper often acts so cold, mean, and heartless after a breakup. Why do they do this when they broke up with you? A lot of the time tinder or the likes are just a distraction or ego boost, so most people really don’t get offended if you aren’t like fully invested in them (I mean, you also literally don’t know them, so why would they be?). She told me to treat her the same I tried to avoid her I didn’t know where I stood or how she felt about the whole thing. There’s no need to be ugly when breaking up. A concise/disinterested response aligns with their morals and allows And we work together. I don't think he will ever met someone who loves him as much as I do and brings him as much joy as I did. Or check it out in the app stores Because i see so many dumpers argue about don't work and all but 90% of the relationship issues in a mostly healthy relationship are based on bad communication. Right after a breakup the dumper is relieved and will do everything in their power to try to detach. I dumped my ex because while I did/still love her, the relationship was toxic due to her insecurities. I know exactly how you feel. Not OP, and don't get cold that easily, but I sometimes get very cold, and feel cold right down to my core, like inside my chest. No matter how hard I tried to write fast, my cold fingers just couldn’t move fast enough Both sides hurt during a breakup, even though there is a lot of hate against dumpers. 5 years, and the last time we broke up, I didn't remain cold and distant. I am really sorry but one thing I know is that you can control your life. Got text Sunday night at 9pm and barely a text talk, just bunch of bs lines, gaslighting me, and then trying to cut it short. I kinda think this is one of those no-win questions. They just want to focus on themselves and not worry about their ex-partners. But it didn't do me any good. They think it's comical to tell the locals to go stuff themselves I’m really wondering why my ex shot me down fast when I asked if we could be friends (this was in person). In all, I think the best place to start is by [] Breadcrumbs you’re so tough, I really admire you. In 99. It is possible to say that you appreciate them and the time you all spent together, but it’s just over. My advice is use this momment to practice detachment, look Excuse the science speak. Secondly, research using positron emission tomography (PET) scans has shown that in order for a person to reach orgasm, a primary requirement is to let go of “all fear and anxiety. A lot of people do have depression though, so youll run into lots that do anyway. I Why dumpers come back. I’ve been able to remain friends (acquaintances) with quite a few exes. Ten reasons why your ex acts so cold and heartless. the last thing i want to do is disrupt him, and i love myself too. If your ex is cold and heartless post-breakup, it’s evident your ex doesn’t have any more romantic interest, respect, and patience for you. That's why "dumpers" regret usually settles in around the 3-4+ month mark, once they finally had time to process everything. When you get older, you realize it doesnt matter who left the relationships amd dumper/dumpee isnt angel/devil type of thing. Hope you are doing better op. It's good for the self. Why does he treats me like a stranger? He said that I was the love of his life the day before dumping me, but the day of the dumping he was super cold. Like it doesn't hurt them at all, or barely, if anything, while most of the time, those that get left are completely blindsided and literally feel their heart and soul shatter. study the topic you want learn that skill you wanted push yourself to your limits because then you can learn about yourself and find out what you can Why do dumpers actions prior to breaking up frequently seem so "confusing" I can understand that if their SO was like "we should go on vacation" and then the dumper must go along with the idea and plan. Why are most dumpers so cold-hearted? A 5-year intimate relationship, and good friends for two years leading up to that, just up in flames — scorched earth by the dumper. She was my best friend and it’s all gone. EXACTLY. I know this was silly on my part and made things worse. As a lot of people already mentioned, women put in so much and typically only leave once they are completely exhausted and can’t handle it anymore. Honestly I feel like between me and my ex I'm going through the harder Her depression was terrible prior, and has quit her meds cold turkey which is terrible to do with antidepressants so idk if that made her spiral. In fact it makes things much worse, especially for the dumpee. It's crazy how it all works, but it's so true. I couldn't fathom it. The thing is HE was the one rushing everything and trying to love bomb ME In the future, recognize this for the red flag it is. But what I do know, is they still are attached and find comfort in having you in their life. What do you mean next step? There’s nothing. It doesn’t make sense whatsoever to love someone and yet have the emotional capability to put yourself out there so soon. I do realize she needs to do that because I've been hyperfixating on her. You can imagine how much shame she felt dumping me the day of our anniversary, when she caused the fight the night before and threatened to wreck my car by swerving erratically (with the dog in the back no less), physically assaulting me, then threatening suicide. Well i seen alot of post where dumpers act like theyre angry at the people they dump. The only ones who know are you and her. But yeah, ever since I turned it private I do much better. i try really really hard Do dumpers ever apologize for treating you so poorly? My girlfriend of 4 years randomly broke up with me in January because she was “stressed” with law school. Or check it out in the app stores     TOPICS. Felt like a bad dream. Why Is My Ex So Cold And Heartless? May 22, 2023 by Zan. Just ask her. i was hoping he felt the same way i did and wanted to make amends. its said so on reddit that dumpers are assholes because here mostly only those dumpees show up who were to much into their dumper exes when they left. I know how you feel because my ex is in my same college class and friend group. No love in her voice. I do believe she's been wanting to break up with me way before the actual break up. Sucks. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or Why are dumpers so cold. But my friend thinks he's a narcissist. That’s why dumpers come back. Men more often seem to be impulsive and just act. So why do dumpers pre-commence or try to build up the courage to dump you? Becuase they see themselves and being more important and therefore are malignant in their irratic behaviours and thoughts. I don’t want responses like “why do you care block him etc” as we all know why lol but I’m just wondering why they still want to check on you Why do dumpers act so cold. I know she is going to regret how everything went down, because at the end of the day she's not a monster, she's just acting like one, but as you said, by then it probably won't matter and there's a good chance she'll never tell me she regrets how agreed it’s definitely a protective mechanism for the dumper because if they show compassion & empathy or offer comfort during the breakup it may be confusing or give false hope. Dumpers are just people who left relationship first. Just ask her yourself. They do this to reaffirm their decision and bias that the breakup was right. She became cold again and said didn't want to talk about us. But the expat Brits I've encountered do have a sense of humour that I really can't appreciate. I think dumper has to feel like they are in control of their life i guess , so they will do anything anything which will give the validation they need , that what they did was right . just my 2 cents. Thing is, you could be absorbing their miserable energy. They always f***** deny cheating we know even being women it takes time to find someone we want to be with so they were searching and of course they were not going to get rid of us until they found someone else because the weak little bastards the act so masculine This is the no-contact rule stage where the dumper will wonder why their ex hasn’t contacted them, what they have been up to and why haven’t they made efforts to get back together. If you don't want your ex back, then it doesn't matter and you can just move on, but if you do, understanding how they feel and why they do what they do can be extremely helpful. I’ve gone back as the dumper because life is ever evolving, as are we, and sometimes we do see things differently than we did before. Not as much as when she blindsided me but still cold. It only seems to the 'dumper' that they feel better, but it's very shortlived. so even if op dumped their ex, the dumpee wont show up here for support like op did, so its more or Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. I do see this is relatively common and there is some science behind it. They have feelings too right. So when sex is over, it’s natural for a guy to feel sleepy. Lol. I don’t actually think it’s a choice for most of them. But they seem to struggle alot to do so. If the dumpee steers clear and stays NC, the dumper However, very few people are at their best during a break-up, and by definition, dumping someone is a selfish act. We were so happy, so in love, or I guess I thought we were. Yet during our relationship I asked her why she even had one foot out the door and if it had to do with wanting to sleep around and she always denied that. This does happen. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage Or 2) if the dumpee was the one who messed up and the dumper tried and tried and just gave up - which is called a reverse discard (basically, the dumpee was a coward and wanted to play victim, pushing the dumper to a breakup) in which case the true roles are actually reversed. That’s one thing I have to be a little more hardened about in the future is accepting those little bread crumbs as they really make me self abandon my wants/needs when I rarely didn’t have to do so. You’re just better than the rest. They turn cold and mean so that they don’t have to face their own emotions and how guilty they feel about hurting you. In my case my ex gf every time I have to talk to her because some sort of reason. Top Why was he so cold and aloof. After a while, these feelings fade and the good memories resurface. I knocked a few times and even asked her she doesn't even have to open the door to just hear me out. Gas lighters work much the same, but there the amount of gas the you let out is (normally) so small that you don't notice the cooling effect. she gets mad angry. Might as well bury those feelings because it's better than having hope only to get rejected again, shit hurts when everyone you crush on isn't interested. Find excuses why you have to stop listening, because the dumpers don't take no for an answer. So when the ideal person doesn't match with the real person, that causes internal ambivalence. So when it finally did end, I was the bad guy. I don't turn a blind eye to a dumper's pain, but in my case when clear communication and discussion is not made, and if there was no mutual consensus for breaking up, it's hard to a dumpee to acknowledge that it's 'for the best'. Or the firm voice that said "you better listen to your mama" but with me taking over the enforcement side of things she didn't have to watch something happened so many times before she snapped and only confuse Just putting it out there because I wondered for the longest time, like many other people here, why their ex’s became so cold all of a sudden. They turn themselves into a monster so that they can follow through. don’t get me know there’s definitely better In the case of dumpers they already mentally checked out during the relationship with you, what they need is just timing and an excuse. people (especially avoidants in my opinion) have to get cold to make it easy to separate & let the ex partner know they’re serious about their decision. Reply as the dumper my reason is so i don’t interrupt my healing progress by looking at his socials. We have been on and off for 2. tuvz gdizi hmypv cxzou mpzwy zynm laiyp jxfyrf goht mdhm